The Side Piece…… Is The New Relationship Ideal?

Today, the media and music makes many women believe that being the “side chick” is acceptable. From Being Mary Jane to our most celebrated side chick Olivia Pope, women think second best is better than being alone. Trust me, I rather be alone then play second to someone else. Before I dive into my story, let us define a side chick:

Side chick is a woman  who is the mistress or jump off for a man who is in a relationship.

There are legion of women who does not think they are the side chick.  Some women  feel like , “I am helping him through a difficult time” or ” I am doing things which better satisfies him at the moment.”  Don’t get it twisted men can be side pieces too but now let us focus on the women. I believe with glorifying the side chick in today society has put damper some women self-worth. It  has caused some women to settle for anything. In reality, we are more worth than our hips and thighs. We deserve respect . Remember, he will never ever leave his wife, baby mama, or girlfriend. If you are side chick, know your place at all times. Although, the chemistry between you and him may get intense; it is the same feeling you get when you are on  a roller coaster. We all know what that feeling is, it happens and then it is over. How things can get complicated for a side chick if she begins to feel more affection towards her dude. Then, we began to see the twitter posts, the instagram pictures and finally the facebook rants Now, you may have one of those special cases where side chick will get upgrade to main one. Don’t you forget if he pulled you from  the same situation please believe history will repeat itself. Who wants to live with that stress?

As I said earlier men can become side dudes too. Men seem to play it much cooler but you do have those special situations. *sips tea*

They know there is no chance in hell she would leave her man. She might leave him under special circumstances. Some side dudes not all know their role in her life. With a side dude, it is more like a stick and move situation. Men don’t like dealing with drama. Side dude come in finish the mission and leave.  They are the Ray Allen of the team. He is not the main player but he gets buckets. Don’t get it twisted men can get caught up too just like women. Those special circumstances side dudes can feel like I can take his place or worst off become her second husband. When this starts to happens, it is time girlfriend to exit stage left. Especially, if you are in committed relationship or even worse married. This person has nothing to lose but you do. No matter how good the sex is or if he just bought you the new designer bag. It is time to GO!!!!!  The best thing to do is get with someone who has as much to lose as do. Make sure they know the situation beforehand and stick strictly by the guidelines that are set in motion.  In the end, it is not cute to brag about being second best or having someone on the side that ‘s if you are in  committed relationship. For the single people, have fun because you are shopping around for perfect mate or the perfect bait *wink*

Just in case you don’t know if you are the side piece. Here are some signs…..

1. He/She calls you but you can’t call him.
2. You only go to certain places or don’t go out at all.
3. Never ever met the family.
4. Forget major holidays….your days start the day after.

In conclusion, I am not advocating to step out but we are human. We’re attracted to the forbidden fruit for the thrill of it. You don’t believe me. Remember ,when you were younger and your parents told you not to do something but you did for the hell of it. It is in our nature. Never settle for second best there are some men and women who looking for commitment. The problem is the waiting around for superman or wonder woman. Word of advice: Wait for true love to find you because it will better than being a side piece.

My mom always told me if a man wants to be with you, he will find any way to be with you.

Holy Grail Spilled Over : COGIC v LGBT community


You curse my name
In spite to put me to shame
Have my laundry in the streets
Dirty or clean
Give it up for fame
But I still don’t know why
Why I love it so much

– Jay-Z

Well…………where can I start….


On Sunday November 9, 2014, I was at the drive-in with my family watching Big Hero 6. So, I happened to pick my Samsung note and go through my facebook feed. My dear college buddy and fellow blogger Ronald Matters *shameless plug www.ronaldmatters.com * posted a video about 107th COGIC convention about a gay man being delivered from homosexuality. I watched the clip like others for pure entertainment. I thought to myself, “This is going to blow over by the morning.” I was so wrong since we are living in social media/viral world we have become today. Monday morning, all hell has broken loose and started a holy war. I think this almost bad as wars we fought in the past. On one side, you have LGBT community and other side you have religious people. Baby, it has been some name calling, sentencing people to hell shade throwing extravaganza. In the midst of all the smoke, there is deep wound that is left to be healed.

For those who know me, I am an advocate for the LBGT community some of my best friends are a part of that community. I have  been raised love people no matter what background or sexual orientation. We are all precious in his sight. The concept that sickens me mostly in the church is   is placing one sin higher than other. Trust, I have not yet met a human being who have walked this earth and not sinned. Who am I judge or cast the first stone? I am from Memphis where the COGIC first stated by Bishop Charles Mason. I known the COGIC community to be saved, sanctified and filled with Holy Ghost. As I have always been told by my parents. On the other hand, I have some terrible stories about people being shunned from this community due to their life choices.  It amazing the most brutal and hateful acts can come within the church. The only thing I have against the COGIC church all the hats, diamonds and furs they draped themselves in. Jesus didn’t have diamonds and furs….I am not perfect Christian and I am not on the platform to preach. This clip shown on YouTube and has now gain over thousand views caused this wound to be open again.

There has always been disconnect with LGBT community and church. You have one side saying, “Love me accept me for who I am.” Then you have the other side saying, ” What you have chosen to be is not acceptable in God’s eye.” This caused a lot of people not just gay but straight to stray away from the church and seek peace on their own terms. It like a brick wall that blocking a bridge for peace and understand between the sides. Although, the Berlin Wall has been torn down for years now, this wall seems to be unbreakable. We continue to put drapes on it by covering up who we really are only to be accepted by people who frankly does not give a damn about us. We continue to paint the wall with lies from the past and one-sided scriptures.  It’s no longer a wall it is apart of the house now. It will take a person to say enough is enough with the Tom foolery and bring in hardcore facts.

Here are my thoughts; I don’t know what this young man was going through. It is not in place to know that is between him and God.  I do have a spirit of discernment and part of me believes him. What he was delivered from still hangs and the balance. Although,   I must say I never seen a bowtie like his. *sips tea* I urge this is not the time to play judge and jury over how people choose to live. Whether you know it or not, we are living in the last days, it is time to get your house in order. As a community, we must come together and hear both sides of the story and find a solution. If we let our close-minded thinking rule as a number one factor on accepting all people then we will forever be lost. I ask put the weapons down and come together on something. Love is key and all that matters.

I’ll end this story with Frankie Beverly and Maze …. listen to lyrics.


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&%*% Never Loved Us… Mistreatment of Veterans in America

Nigga never loved us Do it look like we stressin’? Look at you, look at you, and look at you, Ah – I’m glad that they chose us Command, it’s a mission, Trying to fight to the finish just to see ’em all finish



As I listen to Drake’s song Worst Behavior, he yells, “Motherfuckers never loved us.” He began to talk about his innocent beginnings on Degrassi to rap stardom. This particular line stuck with me. It is anthem for all people who has been ousted but still succeeded. I can relate to this song but more so I can relate this to the many men and women who have sacrificed time, money and even their lives to serve their countries. These men and women are your United States veterans.


For many of you reading my blog for the first time, I am proud veteran of the United States Army. I devoted my life for four years to this unique core. I joined like most teenagers for the college money and to find my own pathway in life. I thought the war in Iraq was a joke and even the president at time was even bigger joker. Nevertheless, I was proud to serve my country only with the expectation that my country will be willing to serve me. My husband, who is a combat engineer, did two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. During his time there, he has felt a lot pain due to being away from home and even losing a friend in battle. My husband still kept fighting because he vowed to so. So, I began to think about these great men and women who take the time to raise their hand to defend flag and serve their country. In return, they come home to unsuitable living conditions, the constant runaround from Veterans Affairs, and the ills of dealing with life after war. Our soldiers reach for a helping hand but there are few hands who will reach back.


Majority of the veterans come home to nothing. They have dealt with so much on the battlefield but still have to fight for basic human needs. Human needs such benefits, medical, housing and mental health. Lately, the Department of Veterans Affairs has failed our comrades every time. You can talk to any veteran and they will tell you the VA is a bad place to be. Why should these men and women fight for these benefits that are guaranteed? On the other hand, if the country is need for soldiers to fight for an unknown cause, we answer. This is unfair not only to veterans but their families. The families of veterans are dealing with the war too. They try to make their home and life suitable but cannot due lack of resources. Not only, you are hurting the veteran but the family is suffering too.


What is the problem? Where is all the money allotted to veterans? Yes, we want to honor them and say “Thank you for your service” every November. After the fanfare and all the bells and whistles are gone, we go back into our homes and live the life of luxury and forget what they fought for. Remember…… all the wars and the flag draped coffins we seen on TV. So, I charge our government taking money away from the military budget and cut your damn salary. If it was not for us, you would not have opportunity fight like a bunch of hens in a farmhouse.


For the Department of Veterans Affairs, stop giving our veterans the run around. Stop the fucking madness….It kills me to hear some of the stories about veterans dying at VA hospital or being evicted from their homes with nowhere to go. When these veterans come to apply for their benefits…. YOU BETTA HAVE THEIR MONEY WHEN THEY COME FOR IT LIKE ODB. Take care of them because this is what you are paid to do. Show them some respect and treat them like if that was your family member. I give credit to the people who are working at VA helping veterans. I applaud you but I am calling out the folks who come just to collect a check. HAVE SEVERAL SEATS and find a job at WALMART.


I don’t charge just VA. I take account every one of just who call ourselves Americans. Do not just sit back and shake your head whenever you see a homeless veteran. Help them out it us up us to help our own because the government are pussyfooting around. You be the change. You be catalyst of change for a veteran who feels like a refugee in their own country. Volunteer for a nonprofit organization to get our vets back on their feet. Donate your time, clothing and food to one who fought for you to give.


Military organizations, stop being social club just to gather and talk about old times. These young veterans need you to guide them into this new world. Don’t just be a standing organization but be an active organization within the community. VA cannot do this alone they need your help. These veterans are hurting and as I remember we should never leave a fallen comrade behind. Take charge and take care of our own not yesterday but right now. Churches, they need your help too. You are the hands and feet of God on earth. Your mission is save those who are hurting. Take time and pray with them. Trust me prayer goes a long way. Talk to them and become that spiritual light they need to deliver them shadows of darkness.


Some of fellow soldiers of mine died so we live in unstable society. Whenever we need them to put on the uniform, they go. They leave behind so much. Their families deal with so much. I know I am military wife and the tears I’ve cried could hydrate a football team for the rest of their lifetime. It pains me to see a veteran standing on the side of the road asking for help. It pains me to see a homeless veteran living out their car or in extended stay. They come home to nothing but grief and mental ills the battlefield has afflicted upon them. These are people not refugees. They are our own brothers and sisters. Honor your vets every day.


Let us fight to eliminate two words: Homeless Veteran

When it comes to how America treats our veterans, we are on our worst behavior.


Dedicated to Chad Young #foreveryoung

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New Music from Snipes


This is a good friend of mine. Make sure you go out and support real music. He will have a release party on Friday, March 28, 2014.


Originally posted on WREG.com:

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[ooyala code=”ZocDA5bDo0twhkTpUN36dzk2JFOiuIAM” player_id=”ffbcf8e010eb4c238d3dda4eb935d806″]

Snipes will have a CD release party for his new album “The Classic Soul Project” on Friday, March 28th at 9 p.m. at 409 S. Main Street in Memphis. The Mid-South singer collaborated on the album with Memphis producer KingPin Da Composer. You can find out more about Snipes by following him on twitter at www.twitter.com/snipes901.

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New Apple iPhone


Hopefully, Apple tries something new with this iphone. There has been lack of creativity in years since their primary innovator. Google with the android market is constantly reinventing itself while Apple keeps putting out the same thing with different colors. It is my opinion. All ask is for Apple is to step of their game soon.

Originally posted on WREG.com:

There’s a cheaper iPhone, but for now it’s only being sold in the UK.

The new model, the 8-gigabyte iPhone 5C, is now on Apple’s UK website.

It’s more than $60 cheaper than the 16-gigabyte version, which sells for just under $800 in the UK.

Analysts say Apple has been under pressure for the last six months to lower the price of the iPhone 5C, which had been expected to come at a cheaper price tag than it did.

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“A Bang For Your Beauty”–Spring Edition

Spring time is almost here. You can feel it in the air. You know what time it is? It is time to break out that cute dress, get your fancy pedicures and show off those bright colors for the world to see. It is around this season we all try to unleash a pop of color in our lives. On my partial break from the blog world (due to horrible internet connection) I have discovered that some of the over- the- counter cosmetics brands are really stepping up their game. In fact, I find myself shopping more at my local drug store for cosmetics than the regular makeup counters. INTERESTING!!!. I ask myself why?
I have always been a MAC cosmetics girl since 2006. I thought the brand was fun and hip for a person like me. I was always super excited about the new colors and lines that would be featured at their station. There were times I could not walk to MAC counter and not buy anything. Since, the recession I have been experimenting with other brands. Now, I have not been a fan of over-the-counter cosmetics brands at all. My thoughts were they only supported a certain type of skin complexions and not cover all complexions for women of color. I thought the eye shadow colors were dull and boring so I didn’t bother to buy. Until, one day I kept seeing commercials about Maybelline Cosmetics FitMe. As the model kept saying, “Don’t find me, fit me. “ I thought this is interesting let me give  Fitme a try. My personal preference for  makeup to enhance my natural beauty and not cover it up. So, I went to my local CVS pharmacy store and tried FitMe, from the moment I put it on I was in love. It made my skin glow. The shocking part was it was for a reasonable price. So, I began my journey of seeing what other products may tickle my fancy.
As I began on my journey, I found other cosmetic lines such as milani, nyx and wetnwild cosmetics. They had colors that made me look beautiful and runway chic. These products were under 10.00. PLUS, I can use my coupons and save more money. SIMPLY AMAZING!!! So, I had to share it with my personal friends and followers on social media about my findings. Each chance I get, I try new products that can be found at your local drug store and give my review. I call “Bang For Your Beauty” which plays on the phrase “more bang for your buck.”


Here is the breakdown of what I have on:
Face: Maybelline Dream Wonder Powder (coconut)
• Love the brand. The range of colors was limited for women of color.
• Gives a great finish without the powder residue.
• Great for daytime wear but you must use a moisturizer or primer.
Eyes: wetnwildcosmetics color palette poster child by Fergie
• Bright color palette for spring.
• Gives a MAC vibe as far as the brightness of the eye shadows.
• Must use a white eye shadow primer (NYX jumbo eye pencil (Milk) in order for the colors to show.
Cheeks: NYX cosmetics baked blush color: ignite/passion
• Gives a sun-kissed glow to your cheeks
• Can be hard to see at times.
• It has a dual use as a bronzer and highlighter.
Lips: Sephora rouge shine
• It is only Sephora brand.
• Gives the combination of a lipstick and lip-gloss (no gloss needed)
• Great for daytime look and night time look with a smokey eye.



BONUS: This is my favorite lipstick by WetnWild Cosmetics called “Pagan Angel”. Love It !!!!